


Spend the Night In My Heart

by princessbelle212, Thecaitsmeow



Series: Insignificant Pride [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, First Time, Happy Birthday Tobio, Implied Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Porn With Plot, hopefully this porn makes up for it, mildly dubious consent (alcohol), sorry for the tragic backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:37:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5498978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessbelle212/pseuds/princessbelle212, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thecaitsmeow/pseuds/Thecaitsmeow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama was pretty sure he knew what love was, and he was pretty sure that the things Oikawa did to him weren't love. They felt more like sabotage. But despite Oikawa's best attempts, Karasuno defeats Shiratorizawa. The team celebrates, and Kageyama realizes that Hinata's kisses taste more like victory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spend the Night In My Heart

There was nothing quite like the numbing exhilaration of a match point set. Kageyama’s mind was never so clear as when he could see victory like that, so close. It had been a brutal match, too. They’d been picked off one by one. Kageyama had already been taken off the court once for fatigue, Tsukishima had just returned with a dislocated pinky. Defeat had seemed inevitable. But now they were all back together. Their best attacking lineup, all back on the court and ready to dominate. Shiratorizawa seemed unfazed, but Kageyama doubted they’d expected Karasuno to be so relentlessly scrappy. They’d never go down without a fight.

 

The ball rocketed over to their side of the net then, and Daichi crashed to his knees to send it flying; it was the perfect setup, and Kageyama knew it. His eyes locked on to to ball as if spiraled down to his position, hands at the ready to launch it into the air. It was going to be perfect, he already knew. He could sense Hinata, could feel by some instinct just where he was going to be, just like he had the very first time they’d pulled of the quick. This was it. Sure enough, Hinata started off at a first tempo-- running up to meet the ball without hesitation. His unerring trust was the most important thing in Kageyama’s life, and he wouldn’t let Hinata down. His hands connected with the ball, the solid pressure of the leather against his skin, and he threw it up in the air, sending it at just the right rotation towards Hinata. His heart stopped. For a moment, it seemed short.

 

But Hinata flung himself high in the air, propelling his body high and fast -impossibly fast-  to match the height of the serve. _Thwakk_. The sound of contact reverberated through the gym, and Kageyama watched the spike like it was in slow-motion. The ball crashed down upon the gymnasium floor as three of Shiratorizawa's players dove. But they collided, fists outstretched, staring as the ball rolled away. But Kageyama held his breath-- had it gone out? It was a close call.

 

There was a blaring of a whistle that broke the silence, and the referee rose a stiff hand in favor of Karasuno. Kageyama just stared for a moment, stunned, then a wide grin spread over his face. It was valid. They’d won. They’d _won_. The whole gym roared. Some shouts of rage, some of joy, but no cries were quite as deafening as Karasuno's own. The whole team rushed onto the court and swarmed Hinata and Kageyama. Shaking them, squeezing them, lifting them up, crying on them, screaming in their ears-- it was a pleasant blur of sweet victory all around them. Kageyama just stood there, stunned, as his back was slapped and his hair ruffled and shouts of glee filled his ears. None of it really mattered, not until he turned to look at Hinata. Hinata’s face shone with happiness, with glee, and as he met Kageyama’s eyes, he felt something thrill in him. He’d put that look on Hinata’s face. They had done it, despite everything. The freak duo. And then Hinata was running towards him, arms outstretched, and Kageyama barely had time to react before Hinata was leaping on him, wrapping his legs around Kageyama’s waist and his arms around Kageyama’s neck. He had no choice but to hold on to him.

 

"We did it! We did it! Kageyama, we won! Kageyama did you hear me?! We beat Shiratorizawa! Did you see that last hit, it was incredible, _you_ were incredible-- I can't believe..." Hinata rattled off endlessly into the fabric of Kageyama's shoulder, clinging to him, and Kageyama had never felt so whole. They were where they were meant to be. Intertwined.

 

He looked around at the rest of the team then, still holding Hinata up. Tears of happiness were streaming down Noya’s ecstatic face, and Tanaka gave him a slap on the back that stung. His own grin hadn’t faded. He pressed the side of his head against Hinata’s hair.

 

“We won. You did it,” he said, his voice strange to his ears. It sounded happy. “You did it, Hinata, you did it,” he said again, like he had to repeat it to make it true.

 

Even Tsukishima looked pleased, a small smile on his face as Yamaguchi jumped up and down in front of him. Daichi and Suga were wrapped up in each other, uncaring as they hugged, Daichi’s nose pressed against Suga’s hair. Then Ukai was there, and Takeda, and Yachi and Shimizu and the fans from the stands, mobbing them and pushing them, but Kageyama didn’t care about anything but keeping Hinata in his arms. He tightened his grip, one arm around Hinata’s waist and the other sliding up so he could bury his hand in Hinata’s hair. As annoying as it was when Hinata talked about them being partners, he was right. They fit together. Hinata’s chest pressed against him perfectly.

 

He held him for what felt like hours, eyes falling closed as he savored the sensation of Hinata’s warm body. He stiffened, suddenly, when he felt the back of his neck prickling like someone was watching him. He turned, still clinging to Hinata, and scanned the crowd. His eyes found Oikawa, sitting there in the stands next to Iwaizumi. Oikawa was wearing glasses, so it took Kageyama a moment longer to recognize him, but there was no mistaking that malicious gaze. His heart sped up, no from the excitement of victory, but from the thrill of fear he felt. Oikawa looked like he was ready to murder someone, and then Oikawa’s eyes slid away just enough to break the stare. His eyes had locked onto Hinata instead, cradled in Kageyama’s arms. Kageyama took a step back, putting more space between Hinata and Oikawa, but there was nothing his old senpai would be able to do, not from the stands. No sabotage, no- anything. Kageyama turned away. Oikawa didn’t matter anymore. He’d lost, and they’d won. That was all that mattered.

 

"Kageyama..." Hinata murmured quietly, and with a start, Kageyama realized that his hand was still buried in Hinata’s hair, not grabbing and tugging like usual, but sifting gently through the orange curls. He swallowed, and his eyes met Hinata’s. They were almost the same shade of brown as Oikawa’s eyes, but Hinata’s were large, trusting, and earnest. They were a lot better than Oikawa’s nasty glare. He wanted to say something, but he had no idea what. As he gaped at Hinata, Hinata squirmed a little in his arms, and Kageyama loosened his tight grip. Hinata extricated himself from his arms, moving more slowly than he normally did. He stood close to Kageyama, staring up at him, one hand pressed against Kageyama’s chest. Without the immediate, impulsive rush from victory, the contact suddenly felt like too much. Kageyama didn’t know what to do, torn between wanting to grab Hinata to him again and push him away. Luckily, as Hinata gazed up at him with that wide-eyed, uncertain expression, Daichi hoisted Hinata up high upon his shoulders. Kageyama was forgotten as Hinata let out a peal of surprised laughter. Daichi paraded them around, and Hinata’s arms were thrown up in the air. Suga trotted to their side where he chatted excitedly with Hinata, then they were joined by Yachi and Yamaguchi, all intent on congratulating Hinata like he deserved.

 

"Party at Ennoshita's house! Party at Ennoshita's house!" Tanaka chanted as he ran off the court, Noya jumping up and down behind him.

Ennoshita stared at them, then rolled his eyes and just nodded. "Alright, alright... We can have a small party, but nothing serious! My parents are out of town this weekend, so we gotta keep the house clean."

 

Noya took up the chant, too, "Party at rich Ennoshita's house! Oh, yeah!"

 

The whole team chimed together in their own chants of victory and celebration. Hinata nodded excitedly as Tanaka pranced up to their side and offered the invitation to the party. Kageyama watched him for a while, then turned to glance back at the stands. Oikawa’s gaze had unsettled him, but he wasn’t watching them anymore. That was fine. Kageyama knew exactly what Oikawa was capable of doing, and he didn’t want any of Oikawa’s attention focused on Hinata. He put the thought out of his head, then turned and walked over to the rest of the team as they headed off the court and into the locker room, chattering away about the party. Ukai had agreed, and so had Takeda, so it was on and it was official.

 

Tanaka grabbed Kageyama around the head, dragging him into the locker room. “You had better show up and not skip out like a weird loner who still doesn’t know how to give high fives!”

 

“Ouch, get _off,_ Tanaka-san!”

 

But Tanaka didn’t let him go until Kageyama promised that he’d show up and not just demand to practice volleyball the whole time. It was strange, too, because he actually _wanted_ to attend the party.

 

The locker room filled with loud chatter, whoops and fond insults, dramatic retellings of favorite plays and moves. Nishinoya gave a particularly exuberant demonstration of one of his sets, jumping off the bench and into a roll on the floor. He only got halfway through a rotation before he smashed into Asahi, making the ace stumble into the lockers. Kageyama laughed with the rest of the team as he pulled on his sweats and changed out of his sweaty shirt, grateful for the distraction. He kept his back to the wall as best he could and swapped his shirt for his sweatshirt as quickly as he could. He glanced around, panicked for a moment that someone could have seen, but no one was looking at him except for Suga, who gave him a sorrowful look of pity. Kageyama rolled his eyes. He was obviously fine. The bruises were healing.

 

Hinata wasn’t looking at him, but that was because Hinata wasn’t in the locker room. Where had he gone? The same cold panic started to well up, like when Oikawa’s eyes had rested on Hinata in his arms, a clear challenge. A threat. Had Oikawa gotten to Hinata already? If Oikawa had hurt him, if he’d _touched him_ \- but then he spotted Hinata coming back in through the door, still not changed. Kageyama was about to yell at him not to go wandering, the idiot, when he saw the full water bottle sloshing in Hinata’s hand. Oh. That was fine, then. He didn’t want to seem like the weird creep Hinata so often accused him of being. He had no right to freak out every time Hinata went to refill his water bottle. It was fine. Still, he met Hinata’s eyes and scowled. It felt more normal than smiling, and Hinata just glared back. He didn’t hold it for long, though, and his face broke into his usually happy smile, clearly still giddy from victory. Kageyama just rolled his eyes at him and packed up the rest of his stuff.

 

The team finished changing and headed out to the bus in a mob, enthusiasm still rolling off of them all in palpable waves. Ukai and Takeda looked thrilled, and Yachi had soon joined the overly excited group, jumping around and cheering with energy to match Hinata’s. Shimizu was smiling a rare smile, too, and Tanaka was drooling none-too-subtly next to her, hearts in his eyes. Tsukishima’s brother and Saeko-san came over to meet them too, each congratulating their respective siblings and the rest of the players, until the team reached the bus and had to part ways with their adoring fans.

 

Kageyama hopped on board, walking back to sit in his customary seat and left room for Hinata, as was his habit. Hinata was engaged in a thrilling conversation with Yamaguchi, though, they plunked down in the seat in front of him without even a glance in Kageyama’s direction. Kageyama scowled again, feeling an odd twisting of jealousy, then slunk down in his seat to sulk. His scowl darkened further when Tsukishima slid into the open seat next to him, presumably to stay near Yamaguchi like the overgrown mother hen that he was. Kageyama shifted closer to the window, not wanting any part of his body to come into contact with Tsukishima’s. The tall spiker just gave him a supremely disdainful look, though, and slid his headphones on over his ears, not saying a word to Kageyama. That was fine. He prefered silence to Tsukishima’s obnoxious, constant snark, and spend the bus ride staring out the window. Even Tsukishima’s presence and Hinata’s annoying jabbering wasn’t enough to take away his contented satisfaction in their win. He really did feel invincible, now that he’d proven to himself, and to Oikawa, that he could win on his own. He’d proven it, and the only thing he needed was Hinata to stick around, cheering him on no matter what. They could be invincible together.

 

When they got off the bus, Kageyama and the rest of the team all split off with plans to meet back at Ennoshita’s in an hour. No one wanted to celebrate while they all smelled like sweat in their athletic pants. Kageyama walked with Hinata as far as he could, Hinata humming happily at his side as he wheeled his bike. Kageyama didn’t say anything to interrupt him, just a quick farewell as he turned down the path to his own house. When he was finished showering, washing away the sweat and soaking some of the exhaustion from his muscles, he realized he had no idea how to dress of a party. He didn’t really own any clothes that weren’t his school uniform or athletic shirts. After sifting through almost his entire closet, he finally pulled out a decent dark blue collared shirt and shrugged a simple black zip-up sweater on top of it. The collars hid the bruises on his neck well enough, and he started down the stairs.

 

Before he could get out the door, though, he was waylaid by his mother, who apparently thought that feigning interest in the game would count as her parental duty for the week. Still, Kageyama hated disappointing her, and by the time he’d finished recounting the high points of the tournament, he was late. It probably wouldn’t even matter. He doubted his presence would add much to the cheerful atmosphere of the celebration, but he had promised. And a pesky part of him still wanted to see Hinata. He wanted to impress him, he realized, and maybe that’s why it had taken him so long to decide on a damn shirt. He shouldn’t care what Hinata thought of him.

 

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and walked quickly across the town to Ennoshita’s house. The dark didn’t scare him, exactly, but he was feeling a little more paranoid than usual after so much exposure to Oikawa. Aside from his irrational nerves, it was a pleasant enough walk, and he soon found himself at Ennoshita’s door, standing open. He took his shoes off and went inside, met by the roar of partying teenagers.

 

Tanaka and Noya waylaid him as soon as he entered, both brandishing beer bottles at him. He made a face and waved them away. He hated drinking. Oikawa had fed him some alcohol-laced sports drink after one practice in middle school, and the way it made his head swim and his thoughts more pliable wasn’t an experience he cared to repeat. He wandered into the kitchen instead, where Sugawara and Daichi were standing a little too close together, chatting animatedly with Shimizu. There was a large tray of dumplings, and Kageyama’s stomach growled. He crammed a few into his face, nodding in greeting at the captain and vice-captain, then continued his rounds, looking for Hinata.

 

He wasn’t aware that that’s what he’d been doing until he’d managed to find every other player on the team and still hadn’t spotted the redhead. He frowned, then found Yachi. She assured him that Hinata was there, somewhere, and Kageyama rolled his eyes. He’d probably gotten distracted staring at one of the strange items Ennoshita’s parents seemed to collect. Maybe they had an ancient volleyball or something, because he couldn’t think of anything else that would keep Hinata’s attention. Another sweep of the house revealed nothing, and he eventually asked Daichi if he’d seen Hinata.

 

“Yeah, he went outside a little while ago. I think he was waiting for you,” Daichi said.

 

“Thanks,” Kageyama muttered, and headed towards the back door. Of course the idiot was probably freezing his hands off, if he’d been out there as long as Daichi seemed to imply. He stepped out onto the back porch and found Hinata, smacking his head against a post. Kageyama growled and reached out to stop him, fingers twisting in the red curls. “Oi, dumbass,” he said, “you’re stupid enough already without bashing the rest of your brain cells to death.”

 

Hinata let out a little gasp and blinked heavily up at him, one hand coming up to wrap around Kageyama’s wrist, stopping him from pulling to hard. "It's ok, it's ok, Yamayama-kun," Hinata said, words slurred together. "Oikawa already told me that you liked me. We can be totally be friends now, c'mon, Kageyama. We can still race and get mad at each other sometimes and stuff-- but you've gotta be nice to me!" Hinata had turned to face him, swaying on his feet as he leaned in too close, like he was sharing a secret.

 

Kageyama reeled back, letting go of Hinata’s hair like he’d been burned. He wasn’t sure what to do about the choked, almost pleased sound Hinata had made when Kageyama had grabbed his hair. It made him a feel a little giddy, but mostly he was pissed off.

 

“Oikawa?” he growled, crowding into Hinata’s space, pressing him up against the railing of the porch with his proximity. “I thought I told you not to talk to him, Hinata.” Fear pounded in him, cold and terrible, and he reached out to grab Hinata’s chin, turning his face right and left in search of any bruising. “Stay away from him,” he repeated, then let go. Hinata’s skin was hot and it still felt like it was burning him, just like his hair had. “And anyway, what- what do you mean, he told you I liked you? Of course I like you! You’re the only person who can hit my quicks!”

 

The excuse sounded pathetic, even to his ears. He knew what Oikawa was trying to do, or at least he thought he did. He couldn’t let Kageyama enjoy his victory. He had to weasel his way into every aspect of Kageyama’s life, trying to manipulate and coerce the people Kageyama cared about until they were all nothing but Oikawa’s pawns. Luckily, Hinata was too much of a fucking idiot to understand what Oikawa was trying to tell him.

 

He met Hinata’s enthusiastic brown eyes with his own, studying his face. Hinata wasn’t looking at him with anything but his usual adoration. He must not have understood. That was fine. Kageyama could be his friend. That was what he wanted anyway, wasn’t it? It would be enough.

 

Hinata flushed. "N-No, Kageyama, I didn't-- I didn't pick a fight with him! He came up to _me_ ! I swear-- ow, Kageyama, let go. You're hurting me..."

 

Kageyama didn’t let go though, just kept glaring. “I’m not going to be nice to you if you’re deciding to do idiotic things like talk to Oikawa, who I’m pretty sure you promised to stay away from.” Kageyama repeated. He leaned into Hinata’s space,  arms braced on the railing on either side of him. He just needed Hinata to understand. “Why are you so dumb all the time?” he asked, exasperated.

 

Hinata smacked his chest. "I'm telling you the truth! And I'm _not_ stupid, so shut up, Kageyama. You can't be mean to me over things that aren't my fault."

 

Hinata flattened his palms across Kageyama's chest to smack him again, but he suddenly paused, staring at his hands against the dark fabric of Kageyama’s sweater. Kageyama could feel himself flushing, could feel his heartbeat speeding up, then Hinata looked up at him again, eyelashes fluttering woozily.

 

"I don't feel so good," Hinata said. Hinata’s hands fisted in Kageyama’s sweater, then let go again, smoothing over the fabric like he’d never felt wool before. He giggled.

 

“You’re drunk,” Kageyama said, the words hissed out between clenched teeth. “How much did you have?”

 

“Just one beer!” Hinata said.

 

He closed his eyes for a moment, exasperation and paranoia making him feel tired. Hinata was always so stupid. One beer wasn’t enough to make him drunk, even as small as he was. It was probably a combination of the little bit of alcohol, and the giddiness over their win. Or maybe it was nerves. Hinata was always shit at dealing with his anxiety. But there wasn’t anything for him to be anxious about, and there was no point lecturing Hinata about being careful and smart if he was drunk. Leave it to Noya and Tanaka to be so irresponsible and crazy. It was probably true, though, that he’d only had one. He couldn’t have had too much more, not with Suga and Daichi watching.

 

Kageyama sighed. “You’ll be fine,” he said. “It’s just a little alcohol. Just try and focus, and it’ll be fine. I’m sorry I hurt you. And I know you’re not stupid. Well, you are, but not all the time. Just- even if Oikawa comes to try and talk to you, you should still leave. He never says anything nice unless there’s some sort of meanness underneath.”

 

He was rambling, but it was better to spout off nonsense than to pay attention to how soft the skin on Hinata’s wrists felt. He should back up, flee to the other side of the balcony. Hinata was tipsy and acting like an idiot, but Kageyama still wanted to kiss him. It would fuck everything up. Hinata probably wasn’t even… abnormal in the same way. He wasn’t a freak like Kageyama was, and as tactile as Hinata was with him, touching him easily and carelessly when hardly anyone else dared to even shake his hand, it was most likely because Hinata was that way with everyone. It didn’t mean anything, and kissing him would completely ruin whatever budding friendship they had. There was a difference between admiration and the deep _need_ that Kageyama often felt for Hinata. His hands moved, though, sliding up Hinata’s wrists to trace the back of Hinata’s hands and fingers. Then he scowled and dropped them, his face flushing a deep red.

 

Hinata didn’t move, though."We were pretty amazing today, huh?" he asked. "We're gonna be partners for a long time, right?"

 

Before Kageyama could answer, Hinata’s hands were back on his chest again, fingers stroking the knit pattern of his sweater.

 

"Does it always feel like this?" Hinata chirped, hiccupping a little, "Being drunk, I mean. I feel all...squirmy and hot." He looked down, embarrassment staining his cheeks red.

 

“Um,” Kageyama said, flustered. He cleared his throat. “You’re probably just dizzy. You should drink some water, or something.”

 

He didn’t want to leave Hinata alone, not when he was so incompetent at life. And Hinata still was touching him. Kageyama’s mouth went dry. He’d never been affected by someone else so strongly before, not by Oikawa, not by his half-formed fantasies of Hinata. With Oikawa, he always just did whatever Oikawa wanted in the hopes of getting off. Any affection he’d had for his old senpai was because he’d been young and stupid, and even then, it had never felt as overwhelming or enormous as the way Hinata was making him feel. Kageyama could usually ignore his feelings, bury them under appreciation for Hinata’s spikes, under appreciation for Hinata’s friendship, but the confused, flushed look on Hinata’s face was a temptation like he’d never experienced. He wanted to keep touching him, to feel his hair, to stroke his skin, to kiss him, to mark him and claim him, and… it was _so wrong_.

 

“Hinata,” Kageyama managed to say between gritted teeth, holding himself as still as he could so he wouldn’t reach out and tug Hinata into an embrace or a kiss. “You need to get yourself together and go away. I can’t- You’re too...” He didn’t know what he could say that wouldn’t make Hinata freak out. He cleared his throat again, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep them out of the way, to keep himself from burying his fingers in Hinata’s hair again. “You did really good today. You’re probably just overly excited from that.”

 

"Yeah," Hinata said, voice sounding hurt. "I should go away, then. Go away, yeah. Leave you alone, all grumpy, and. Water. Water is a good idea. I like water." Hinata turned away from Kageyama and started to head back inside.

 

“Wait, Hinata, _Hinata_ , _”_ Kageyama said, reaching out to grab Hinata’s wrist. His stomach twisted into knots at the defeated, ashamed look on Hinata’s face. He hadn’t wanted to make him look like that, so sad, especially not when they were supposed to be celebrating. Maybe he wasn’t stupid to hope that Hinata could maybe return a small fraction of his feelings, at least. He hated talking about how he felt, but he hated disappointing Hinata even more. He took a breath and tried to explain.

 

“I don’t- I don’t want you to go away, don’t you get it? That’s- tsch. I shouldn’t talk about this when you’re drunk. I shouldn’t be thinking about this when you’re drunk.” Kageyama’s other hand came up to fist in Hinata’s hair again, holding him in place. “I’m not used to other people touching me, but... I like touching you, way too much, and if you don’t go away, I’m not going to want to stop. And you’re drunk, and so. Uh. I shouldn’t.” His face was bright red. It was a pretty shitty confession, but it was the best he could come up with. As long as it erased that pained look from Hinata’s face, that was all that mattered.

 

"I," Hinata said, frowning a little. "I _want_ you to touch me. Touch me, Kageyama..."

 

Kageyama’s grip tightened in Hinata’s hair, tugging sharply and jerking Hinata’s hair back. A sharp throb of arousal shot through him, making his groin ache as all the blood in his brain flooded downwards. “Fuck,” he hissed. “You can’t just _say_ that, Hinata.”

 

He was moving, though, even though he knew it was stupid, Hinata was drunk, Hinata was babbling like he always did. Then he had Hinata backed up against the railing again, his chest pressing him against it, and oh, he was touching him. One hand stayed fisted in Hinata’s hair, pulling like he always wanted to, feeling the softness of the curls twined around his fingers. His other hand traced a path up from Hinata’s waist, pressing into the warmth of his chest, up over the dumb cartoon picture on his hoodie. His hand found Hinata’s neck, and he pressed his fingers gently against Hinata’s throat. His thumb stroked the pulse of Hinata’s jugular, then slid up higher, tracing over the shape of his jaw.

 

Hinata moaned, and Kageyama was lost.

 

“Hinata,” he said, his voice a deep rumble in his desire. He wanted to press his hips up against Hinata’s body, rut frantically until he got off, but it was so wrong. Hinata was drunk, he wasn’t in his right mind, but his hooded, blissed out eyes were too much for Kageyama to resist. “Hinata,” he said again, and his hand slid up to cup the side of Hinata’s face. He was breathing too fast, he wanted too much. He wanted to bend Hinata over the railing right there, he wanted to suck bruises onto every inch of his skin, he wanted to dig his fingers in, to possess every inch of him, and the desire was so intense that it terrified him. His legs were trembling, and he was leaning against Hinata for support, too. But he couldn’t do any of that. He wouldn’t be like Oikawa. His thumb traced over Hinata’s lower lip. It was plush, soft and warm against his skin.

 

"Kageyama," Hinata said, trembling. "Kageyama, Kageyama.” He moaned again, his hands coming up to rest on Kageyama’s forearms. "K-Kageyama, slow down.” But his lips parted, and Kageyama could feel his hot breath against his thumb.

 

Kageyama groaned. He loosened his grip on Hinata’s hair, though, and stopped his thumb moving. He didn’t pull away. He could feel Hinata’s dick starting to twitch against his thigh. It shouldn’t have been possible, but here Hinata was, moaning in his arms like every one of Kageyama’s filthiest fantasies, the ones that left him full of shame and longing.

 

“This is why I said you should leave,” Kageyama whispered, turning his head to press the words against Hinata’s ear. He wanted to suck the earlobe in between his teeth, but he contented himself with just keeping his mouth parted against the shell of Hinata’s ear. It helped him resist the urge to kiss his mouth instead. He slipped his thumb just inside Hinata’s parted lips, just enough to feel where the dry skin gave way to the slickness inside.

 

"No, no," Hinata begged, "Don't leave me. I-I don't wanna leave... Here... You... Please." His tongue flicked out, swirling over Kageyama’s tongue.

 

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Kageyama choked, hissing the words against Hinata’s ear. He had to let go of his hair to brace himself against the railing.

 

"Hmmn--" Hinata sucked inwards then, taking Kageyama's thumb between his pinched lips, and Kageyama could feel the vibrations of a moan in Hinata’s mouth. "It hurts," Hinata mumbled around his finger, and squirmed where Kageyama’s thigh was pressing against his groin. "It's so tight, I can't take this."

 

Kageyama took a shaking breath and drew his thumb away. A string of spit still connected the tip to Hinata’s mouth, and Kageyama’s cock twitched too. “Hinata,” he said, words slurred a little. It couldn’t be like this, on a back patio with the rest of the team there, rutting against each other without even a kiss, and. Kageyama had to kiss him. He had to. He had to kiss him, but the prospect was suddenly terrifying, even with Hinata writhing up against him, pressing his dick into Kageyama’s hip in a search for release. He huffed out a breath, letting his eyes close for a moment to steel himself against the crashing waves of arousal caused by every one of Hinata’s sounds.

 

“I want you so bad,” Kageyama hissed, like the admission pained him.

 

"I am... I-I am yours. Your partner. I'm yours, Kageyama. You have me."

 

He grabbed Hinata’s hip in one hand, pressing him back against the railing and away from the pressure of their bodies. His other hand found Hinata’s hair again. He was addicted. He craved the feeling of the curls between his fingers. He tugged just enough to tip Hinata’s head back, then backed up a centimeter, leaving just enough space that he could feel the warmth radiating from Hinata’s body without actually touching him. He pressed his forehead against Hinata’s, meeting his gaze, then took a quick breath and slotted their mouths together.

 

The kiss was heaven. Kageyama had burned up and died and gone to heaven. Hinata’s mouth tasted like beer, but it was hot and wet and slick, and Kageyama coaxed his lips open with his tongue while Hinata hummed against his mouth. For all Kageyama had done, he didn’t have that much experience with kissing. Oikawa was always stingy, and always was the one to take control, harsh and dominating like he was with everything. Still, he knew more than Hinata did, at least, and relished the tremulous whimpers that echoed inside his mouth. He sucked Hinata’s lower lip into his mouth, pressing his tongue along it, memorizing the shape and the feel and the way it made Hinata slump against him, desperate and wanting.

 

“Mine,” he growled into Hinata’s mouth when he finally had to take a breath, tightening his grip on Hinata’s hair. “Mine,” he said again, pressing his teeth into Hinata’s lip. He glided his tongue over the bite marks. It was messy, wet. He had spit all over his face, dampness from their mingled breath.

 

His possessiveness was frightening in its intensity. He wanted Hinata in so many ways, wanted to mark him and claim him and take him and adore him and protect him and make him fly. And Hinata would let him. He didn’t know why. His hand slid from Hinata’s hip to the hem of Hinata’s sweatshirt, clawing at the fabric until he was able to work his hand underneath and trace his fingertips over bare skin. He let out a shuddering breath, too distracted for a moment to keep control of the kiss.

 

"Kageyama," Hinata sighed, "I want... I want your hands." He moaned against Kageyama’s mouth, rolling his hips forward. "I'm so hot. So hot... So good... Kageyama, _aah_."

 

The way Hinata moaned his name made Kageyama’s whole body thrill, shivers and arousal coursing through him. Hinata was a terrible kisser, but his lack of technical skill didn’t bother Kageyama at all, not when he made an attempt to kiss back with such enthusiasm. It was the best kiss he’d ever had. There was no competition. Hinata was moving against him, desperately reaching, and Kageyama wanted to give him everything right there. But this wasn’t the time, nor the place. Hinata was still drunk, and Kageyama wanted him when he was wholly himself. Kageyama only allowed himself a brief touch of his palm to Hinata’s chest, then sighed and took his hand away, grabbing Hinata’s shoulders to push him back. He looked wrecked, orange hair a mess, lips bright red and puffy, eyes glazed with need. Kageyama was sure he didn’t look any better, and he had to struggle to catch his breath.

 

“Not here,” he promised. “Not here, Hinata, but, oh god, later, okay? Not here. The rest of the team-” he was babbling, and he shook his head. He couldn’t give Hinata what he needed when they were out in the open, when anyone from the team could have walked out and found them. He wasn’t sure what the school rules were about making out with a teammate, but he was sure that at the very least, they’d have to endure endless mockery. But he would give Hinata what he wanted. They could go home together, or maybe Hinata’s offer of a sleepover was still in place. He’d just have to be careful, he couldn’t let Hinata see the bruises, but that was fine. He just wanted his hands on Hinata, wanted to make him writhe and beg and feel better than he’d ever felt, and that would be enough. He took a step back when he thought Hinata could stand again, both of them panting heavily, and he dragged a hand through his hair, trying to make sure it was in order. “We can’t here,” he said again. “I want to, god I want to, but we can’t. Fix your hair.”

 

Hinata fell back, gasping, and brought a shaky hand up to his mouth, wiping off his face with his sleeve. "My... My house?" He groaned, sounding just as frustrated as Kageyama felt. "Yours? U-Umm... Inside, here? T-There are... Bushes?"

 

“Hey,” Kageyama growed, reaching out to shake Hinata. “Hey, focus. You’re just horny. I am not going to make out with you in a bunch of bushes, don’t be an idiot.” _You’re worth more than that_ , he thought. “Pull yourself together. Drink some water. The rest of the team is still inside, remember?”

 

He was suddenly grateful for all the times Oikawa had left him needy and wanting and unsatisfied, because he found it way easier to get his brain working again, ignoring the throb in his cock. It was still tempting, though, given how destroyed Hinata was, to just drag him off behind a tree like he’d suggested. Kageyama had imagined what he’d look like all aroused a thousand times, but the reality was so much better than anything he’d thought. He wanted him as soon as possible. How rude would it be to just wait for his obvious erection to die down and leave? He’d said hello to everyone, at least, so surely they couldn’t be too offended. He reached out, smoothing Hinata’s hair down as best he could, ignoring the way Hinata’s eyes closed in bliss from the simple touch.

 

“Get it together, and I’ll take you to my house and touch you and kiss you and whatever you want until you can’t take anymore. My mom’s home, but she’ll just be glad I have a friend over for once, so she won’t have to pay attention to me.” Kageyama would normally have felt a pang of bitterness at the admission, but his brain was too focused on just getting Hinata home with him. “You’ll be fine, I’ll take care of you.” Hinata’s hair was as tidy as he could make it, and he let his hand slide down to trace over the shell of Hinata’s ear. Then he backed up a few feet, leaning against the side of the house, and thought about losing a volleyball match to make his erection fade.

 

"I'm so hard it hurts," Hinata groaned quietly, knowing the confession was too intimate, but he needed Kageyama to know his state, "They're all gonna know what we did. Especially Suga-senpai. What if they know? What do we do?"

 

Kageyama just shrugged and stared at him. “Just calm down, if you can. Think about losing a match.”

 

Hinata scowled at him, but was silent for a minute before he said, "I-I think I'm ok."

 

Kageyama nodded, and Hinata bobbed forward towards him.

 

"I really get to go to your house? To your room?" Hinata chirped happily, bouncing up and down. It was really annoying, and really cute.

 

“Yeah, dumbass,” Kageyama said, rolling his eyes. “If you freak out about it like this though, maybe I’ll change my mind.” He wouldn’t change his mind. He wanted Hinata writhing naked on his sheets as soon as he could get him. “You look fine enough. Suga won’t care, trust me. I think the rest of them probably won’t notice. Except Tsukishima.” He scowled. “We should probably avoid him as much as we can. Come on.”

 

He grabbed Hinata’s wrist and tugged him inside, back into the kitchen. Suga and Daichi were standing there, still a little too close together, and Daichi just raised an eyebrow at the two of them. Kageyama felt his face heat up, and he rummaged around in one of the cabinets.

 

“Hinata needs some water. Someone gave him beer and he’s drunk so I’m taking him home.”

 

He filled the glass and handed it to Hinata, trying to ignore the way his mouth looked supremely red in the brighter light indoors, and the way his eyes seemed even glossier. It was glaringly obvious what they’d been doing, and Kageyama couldn’t meet Suga’s eyes. It was stupid of him, he knew, especially so soon after what Oikawa had done to him. He hoped it wasn’t some sort of weird rebound, but he didn’t think so. Touching Hinata felt so different, so real. He was too busy gazing at the redhead that he didn’t realize that Daichi was trying to talk to him.

 

“What?” he asked, and Daichi rolled his eyes.

 

“I was going to ask you where he got beer, but of course Nishinoya would think it’s funny.” Daichi sighed. “Don’t do anything stupid, Kageyama. You too, Hinata. You still need to be able to play at practice tomorrow.” Daichi gave him a gimlet-eyed glare. “That involves running, you know. And walking.”

 

Kageyama flushed a deep red, shoving his hands into his pockets. “We’re not going to-” but he couldn’t finish the sentence, embarrassment flooding too hot in him, and Hinata moved closer to him and put a hand on his arm, clinging to him in the face of Daichi’s rage.

 

Suga shifted at Daichi’s side and rested a gentle hand on the captain's forearm. "Now, now, we don't want to cause any commotion with the rest of the team in here, do we, Daichi?" Suga smiled sweetly but his tone was a sugar-coated warning. "Kageyama knows what he's doing. He'll take care of Hinata. Right, Kageyama?"

 

“I’mnotgonna-” Kageyama muttered, wishing the earth would open up and swallow him and his embarrassment. He knew Suga didn’t mind, but he hadn’t expected thinly-veiled warnings and cautions. He wasn’t going to hurt Hinata, he’d do anything to stop him from being hurt. He glanced down at Hinata’s hand on his arm, just like Suga’s arm was on Daichi’s. Were they..? No, surely not. Suga did seem to give pretty knowledgeable advice, though. Regardless, he was overtaken with a desire to hold Hinata’s hand, but that was impossible with the captains watching. He settled instead for grabbing the glass back from Hinata before he could drop it in his drunken clumsiness, and set it on the counter.

 

“I’ll take care of him,” he said, his voice fierce with his surety. He met Suga’s eyes, fighting down the blush staining his cheeks. “And be careful, okay? Tell the rest of the team Hinata got too drunk or something. We’re gonna go.”

 

He grabbed Hinata’s wrist and tugged him out of the kitchen, all too aware of Daichi’s eyes following them as they went. They avoided the rest of the team -especially Tsukishima- as they left, though Kageyama gave Ennoshita a quick bow and thanked him for his hospitality. He dragged Hinata out of the front door and let it shut behind them. He slipped his shoes back on and then steadied Hinata while Hinata got his fastened. Maybe he could keep his hold on Hinata’s hand the whole walk. The idiot would probably get lost, after all. It wasn’t as easy to keep ahold of his wrist, so Kageyama slid his hand down and grabbed Hinata’s hand, twisting their fingers together, since no one was watching. He wanted to kiss him again, too. Was he allowed to? He didn’t see why not. None of the rest of the team was outside, and they were alone again.

 

"Do you think Daichi was really as mad as he see--" Hinata started, but Kageyama cut him off, grabbing his chin with his free hand. He pressed a quick, filthy kiss to Hinata’s mouth, licking over his lips and biting before pulling back just as quickly.

 

He cleared his throat. “Come on, then. I’m-” He didn’t know what he was. Horny, certainly, and impatient. Nervous. Excited, like he always was before a match. This felt just as significant. “Did you bring your bike?” he asked instead.

 

"Huh?" Hinata licked his lips, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's by this tree." He gestured vaguely. "Can we... Both fit?" He grinned up at Kageyama, mischief in his eyes.

 

“No, we can’t both fit,” Kageyama snapped. Hinata always had to ruin nice moments by being an idiot. At least he was used to it, though. Sometimes it was even cute. He scowled. It was unfair how cute Hinata was, with his big eyes and impish smile and his unruly hair. Kageyama’s heart twisted a little. He didn’t want to have to let go of Hinata’s hand so that he could walk the bike. It wasn’t very far to his house, though. Maybe they could ride together. He scowled at the bike, too, like it was a confusing puzzle. “You’re probably too drunk to pedal. Either you can sit and I can pedal, I guess, or you can leave it here and we can walk. It’s not that far.” He eyed Hinata. He seemed a little steadier after the water, but he doubted Hinata’s ability to stay on a seat, even. “Let’s just walk. No one’ll steal your shitty bike.”

 

He tugged Hinata onto the sidewalk, then wrapped an arm around Hinata’s waist, pressing their sides together. He wanted to keep him close. It was a little difficult to walk, though, so eventually he gave up and just held Hinata’s hand again. It was small and warm, covered in calluses, just like he’d imagined. He kept tracing his thumb over the back of Hinata’s hand, marveling at how much bigger his were compared to Hinata’s. It made the freak spikes even more impressive, since Hinata always had less surface area to control the ball. He was incredible, really. Kageyama tripped over a crack in the sidewalk because he was too busy staring at Hinata to watch where he was going. He swore, and glared at the pavement in front of them. He should say something, probably. Tell Hinata that he liked the way his hair smelled. Tell him that he thought he was cute. Tell him that he’d been imagining this for months, and now that it was happening, he had no idea what to do. But all those things sounded weak and pathetic in his ear, so he just stared in stony silence ahead of them, keeping his grip tight. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe Hinata was only wanting this because he was drunk. Maybe he’d hate Kageyama forever, once he found out how much of a freak Kageyama really was. He’d stolen Hinata’s kisses, he didn’t want to steal more from him. But it really seemed like Hinata was willing to give them. It was impossible, but Hinata had reacted just as eagerly as he had. A memory of Hinata’s desperate whines made his cock twitch in his jeans, and he started walking a little faster.

 

"I like touching you like this," Hinata admitted against Kageyama's shoulder, "Are you nervous?"

 

Kageyama’s shoes caught a crack in the pavement, and Hinata flinched, clinging tightly to Kageyama's arm. “No, I’m not nervous,” he lied, and sped up again, half-dragging Hinata down the street until they were standing at the door to his house. Kageyama stared at it stupidly for a moment, not wanting to let go of Hinata’s hand.

 

"You should... Probably open the door, huh, Kageyama?"

 

Kageyama turned to stare at him, nervousness and anticipation making him freeze up. But. Yeah. That was what he was supposed to do. Go inside. He couldn’t remember where he’d put his keys. He wanted to kiss Hinata again, that was more important. His mom was probably asleep, she wouldn’t be waiting up for him, or she’d have called. He wrapped his arms around Hinata’s waist, his hand feeling cold and damp after holding Hinata’s so long, then kissed him. He was definitely addicted to Hinata’s mouth, too. The feeling of Hinata’s small, hot lips seared through him, and he spun Hinata around, pressing his back against the door. He kept kissing him, savoring the taste and sensation. He tasted better now that the water had washed away the taste of beer, and he smelled like the night air. Kageyama groaned into his mouth, then unwrapped one arm from around his waist to fumble in his pockets, looking for his house key. It took him a few tries, but he finally found it in his back pocket. It took him a few tries to get it into the lock, too, since his knee had found its way between Hinata’s thighs, and his ignored erection was back and demanding attention. Hinata was moaning, too, and that was another distraction all by itself. He ground against Hinata while they kissed, one hand clawing at Hinata’s waist while the other tried to jam the key into the lock.

 

“Hurry, hurry,” Hinata was whimpering against his mouth. He was standing on his own, his eyes less glazed from the alcohol.

 

After about the tenth failed attempt, he growled, the sound reverberating against Hinata’s teeth, and tore himself away. It was possibly the hardest thing he’d ever done. He grabbed the stupid doorknob and got the key into the lock finally, turned it, and opened the door to his house. It wasn’t anything special: tastefully decorated, with modern lines and well-matched furniture. There were several pictures of Kageyama scattered around the living room, as a baby, as a five year old, holding his first volleyball. There weren’t many recent pictures, though. His parents had gotten busier as he’d gotten older. Still, it was comforting and familiar, though he still flushed with embarrassment when Hinata stepped inside after taking off his shoes.

 

“Mom,” he called, not too loud in case she was asleep. “I’m back. I brought a friend over, too.” He waited, and a light flicked on upstairs.

 

“Tobio-chan?” his mom called down. “Which friend?”

 

Kageyama glanced over at Hinata. “Um, Hinata-san,” he called back. “The- the one I told you about. He lives across the mountain, so I thought it would be easier if he stayed here instead.” He crossed his fingers, then shut the door behind Hinata.

 

“Yes, that’s fine,” his mother said. “Just be quiet. I have to be at the office early tomorrow. Help yourselves to whatever you’d like if you boys are hungry.”

 

The light turned back off again, and he could hear the door to his parent’s bedroom click closed. He turned and gave Hinata a quick grin. “I guess we’ll have to see how quiet you can be,” he whispered, then tugged Hinata into another quick kiss before pulling him through the kitchen and down a hall to his bedroom. It was tidy enough, with sports equipment stashed in the corners. His bed was made neatly, inviting. He wanted to throw Hinata onto it, but instead grabbed him and pushed him up against the door when it had closed, resuming their earlier kissing. He liked having Hinata pinned like that. It made him feel stronger.

 

"Kagyama, hurry," Hinata said as quietly as was possible for him, sucking in his bottom lip, "I want you to touch me on my skin, before I... I'm afraid I might... Ya' know." Hinata tried to kiss him back, but he was bad at kissing and talking at the same time. "Can I take my pants off? Kageyama, please, _please_ , it hurts."

 

“Shut up,” Kageyama said, and grabbed Hinata’s wrists. He gripped them together, one hand wrapping around both, and dragged Hinata’s arms up to pin them against the door above his head. His other hand grabbed Hinata’s hips and pinned them back against the door too, keeping him from moving. Hinata was going to kill him, was playing right into every one of Kageyama’s twisted fantasies. He wanted Hinata to beg, wanted him desperate and writhing and helpless in his arms, and it shouldn’t be possible. “Be patient,” he said. "It’s more fun if you draw it out.”

 

He pulled away and pressed his mouth to Hinata’s neck. His fingertips dipped just under the fabric of Hinata’s jeans, teasing around the button, feeling the hot, forbidden skin on Hinata’s hipbones. He only lingered long enough to tease, and then gripped the hem of Hinata’s shirt. He whipped it up over Hinata’s head, none too gently. He stared, dumbfounded, at the expanse of bare skin. He’d seen Hinata shirtless before, of course, all whipcord-strong muscle and flat planes, but it had never been thrilling like this. He picked Hinata up, one arm around his waist and the other around his thighs, and walked the few steps over to his bed before tossing Hinata down onto it. It was fun having him up against the door, but it was so much better crawling on top of him and pinning his wrists to the mattress, instead. Hinata’s legs sprawled open, and Kageyama settled between them, like he’d always been meant to be there. His clothed dick ground against Hinata’s, and it was painful, in the best way. He kept the pace slow, tormentingly slow, and kissed a path down Hinata’s neck, mouthing at his collarbone. Hinata moaned and writhed under him, eyes shut and breath coming fast.

 

“There are so many goddamn things I want to do to you,” Kageyama said. He wanted his mouth on Hinata’s dick. He wanted his mouth everywhere. He wanted to fuck him into the mattress, he wanted to touch him and break him and exhaust him into a pile of shuddering pleasure.

 

"Kageyama, _please_ ," Hinata cried, wrists twisting in Kageyama’s grip, "Why won't you touch me..."

 

Kageyama let go of Hinata’s wrists and covered his mouth with one hand. He was being too loud. He found himself helpless to resist Hinata’s pleading, though, so he sat up a little so he could take off Hinata’s pants. He had to stop grinding against him, which was frustrating, but worth it with each centimeter of skin he bared. He dragged the zipper down with his other hand, slowly, then moved back up dance his fingers on the skin below Hinata’s bellybutton, not low enough to be anything but a tease. He looked down at Hinata, memorizing the way his red hair stood out against his dark quilt, the way his pale skin shone in the dim light.

 

"Help me," Hinata muttered into his palm, brown eyes squinted and glossed over the blown pupils with frustrated tears, "Take them off, take them off... I'm gonna' cum, Kageyama. I want you to touch me and make it stop-- it hurts so _bad_ , Kageyama, I've never been this hard before. I want you to do it. I want you to touch me. I want it to be you." His tongue flicked out and swiped over Kageyama’s palm.

 

“Yes, _yes_ ,” Kageyama hissed, lurching forward and sinking his teeth into Hinata’s neck. Maybe it would leave a mark. He didn’t really mind the idea of seeing Hinata at practice with his marks all over his neck.

 

Maybe that was why Oikawa- but he didn’t want to think about Oikawa, not when he had Hinata here, already begging and desperate for him. It was intoxicating. He’d never have enough. He sucked Hinata’s nipple into his mouth, sliding his tongue over it, feeling how hard it was. Then he leaned back, finally taking pity on him. He helped shimmy his pants and underwear all the way off. And then he had Hinata lying naked on his bed, face flushed, mouth open and drooling, hair a disaster. It was mesmerizing. Compelling. Better than anything he’d imagined. He sat back on his heels, just staring for a moment until Hinata whined and covered his face.

 

He’d definitely left a mark. The skin on Hinata’s neck was already turning red, the same flushed color of his cock. Kageyama stared, taking in the sight. Hinata’s cock did look ready to burst, precum glistening at the tip as it twitched uncontrollably. Kageyama’s own mouth filled with saliva. He wanted to taste him. His own cock was demanding, though, pressing against the zipper of his pants as it was squashed awkwardly against his body. He didn’t know what to do; there were too many things he wanted all at once. He wanted to feel Hinata with his hands, wanted to taste him, wanted to be inside him, and he didn’t know what he wanted the most.

 

“Please, please, Kageyama,” Hinata moaned, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. “Stop staring at me, just touch me, _please._ ”

 

Kageyama ran his hands down the insides of Hinata’s thighs, feeling the sparse hair there. His own cock gave another painful throb, and he growled. Annoying. The metal teeth of his zipper were pressing into him painfully, and he took just enough time to tug the zipper down and his pant off enough that his dick could spring free. He didn’t want to take them all the way off in case Hinata could see the finger-shaped bruises on his hips. Then he lunged forward, pressing himself to Hinata, and grabbed both of their cocks in his hand. It felt amazing, the searing heat of Hinata’s dick up against his, throbbing. Their mingled precum made it a little slick, just enough for his hand to glide easily.

 

“I want you to cum for me,” he commanded, stroking them together. “Come on, Hinata, let me feel you.” He clamped his other hand over Hinata’s mouth, shoving two fingers inside and muffling his moans.

 

Hinata threw his head back on the mattress, small hands fisting handfuls of the dark quilt in between sweaty palms. A hoarse moan ripped from the back of his throat. His body twitched, convulsed, face scrunched up in a disgustingly cute grimace as he came without warning all over Kageyama’s hand, bucking and moaning and riding it out.

 

"Mmmm, so good... So good," Hinata hummed, mouth twitching into a goofy grin. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Kageyama, it was so soon... So soon, I'm sorry... Just... So good."

 

Kageyama had to grab the base of his dick as soon as Hinata was done, squeezing hard enough that he managed to stave off his own orgasm with a groan of discomfort. Hinata was panting, huffing out breaths that sounded almost like laughter, and Kageyama grabbed him and tugged him close, making him slide down a few inches on the bed. He kissed him, grabbing his hair, then tipped his head up to kiss his neck again, slow, senuous kisses, mapping out each dip in Hinata’s skin.

 

The fabric of his shirt was uncomfortable, scratching at him, and he was sure that it wasn’t too pleasant against Hinata’s bare chest, either. He couldn’t take it off, though. He couldn’t let Hinata see the marks, the bruising around his throat, the scratches down his back. He didn’t know how he’d explain it, especially not when Hinata was naked in his bed. He doubted Hinata, or anyone, would understand. So he contented himself with pressing slow kisses all over Hinata’s neck and shoulders and chest, against his wrists and palms and collarbone, waiting for his panting to stop. He wanted to see Hinata shatter apart again. It was probably too much, too fast, but Hinata wasn’t telling him to stop, and he didn’t really care for logic.

  


“You’re so- so-” He didn’t know what to say. “You’re fine,” he said lamely, then kissed Hinata’s mouth.

 

"You didn't... You still haven't... Do you want me…” Hinata asked, sounding breathless and wrecked

 

“No, no no. You’re perfect. You can come again. I’m going to make you come again, let me keep touching you, I don’t want to stop, _please_ , Hinata.” He kept murmuring it against Hinata’s skin, letting his hands trace patterns over his bare form, down to his hipbones, skating over his spent cock, trying to will life back into it. “I can make you feel even better, let me do more. I can make it so good.”

 

He wanted to fuck Hinata now, desperately. He’d never been inside anyone before, and at least he could give that bit of novelty to Hinata, since everything else had been ripped from him. He knew how it worked, though. He knew the difference between the slow, achingly good burn of long fingers working him meticulously open, and the painful searing heat of a cock shoved in, agonizing and too fast. He wouldn’t hurt Hinata like that. He’d work at it until Hinata came just from his fingers instead. “Hinata,” he said, biting at the smaller boy’s jaw. “Let me finger you, at least. I want to be in you. I need to be.”

 

Hinata sat up a little, propped up on his elbows, and stared at Kageyama with wide eyes. "It's gonna hurt," he said. He shook his head, "It's just gonna hurt. I don't want to. Nothing is going fit inside of me-- there's no way." He dug his nails into Kageyama’s forearms, fingers scrabbling over his skin.

 

“Okay, okay, Hinata- hey.” Kageyama’s eyebrows furrowed together, concern over Hinata’s sudden panic staving off his own arousal. “Hey, it’s fine, okay? I won’t do anything to hurt you, not if- not unless you want me to.” He tugged on Hinata’s hair then, so Hinata would know what he meant. He knew already that Hinata liked that particular pain. “I- I was, I mean. It doesn’t have to hurt. Have you tried it before?”

 

Had someone else gotten to Hinata before he had? Incandescent rage and jealousy filled him, the idea of some faceless stranger hurting Hinata, of not preparing him properly and just taking what they wanted from him, with no regard to Hinata’s pleasure. For all Oikawa’s failings, at least he’d taken his time with Kageyama, that first time. Or at least, more than he normally did. Hinata didn’t deserve a rushed fumble with someone who couldn’t be bothered to make him feel good.

 

“We won’t do anything you don’t want to do. But it can. It can feel really good, I promise, it just takes a little time. I’d make you feel amazing.”

 

Hinata’s breaths came in shallow, anxious huffs as he blinked up at Kageayama. His pupils were still blown from arousal, and he tilted his head, going along with Kageyama’s grip, leaving his neck exposed. "Well, yeah-- I mean. I've totally done it before. I-I mean I've tried it. It just... It just won't go all the way in no matter how hard I pushed." He flushed, eyes fluttering closed. Kageyama waited, his free hand tracing patterns over Hinata’s chest.

 

"Ok," The redhead grumbled, sounding painfully uncertain, "Ok, I trust you, Kageyama." Kageyama’s heart soared.

 

"But if it hurts I'm never, ever forgiving you, and you're never allowed to touch me again, got it?" Hinata lifted a hand and poked him in the chest.

 

Kageyama grinned. Hinata had no idea how much it meant, that trust he gave so freely. It won their matches on the volleyball court, and it was even more important now. He kissed Hinata again, slow and deep, savoring the feeling of his tongue in Hinata’s mouth, the way Hinata pressed back against him, testing, teasing. If his dick wasn’t twitching with interest again already, he’d have been content to just lay there and kiss Hinata. Getting to touch him at all was enough, but he was determined to give Hinata everything. He knew exactly how good it could feel, and he was positive that Hinata would like it, especially from the way he arched into Kageyama’s most demanding touches.

 

“It might hurt a little,” he admitted, not wanting to lie, “but the same way that me pulling your hair hurts.” He did it again and pressed his lips to Hinata’s neck, sucking until the skin turned red, but not enough to leave a lasting mark. “It’ll hurt but feel good at the same time, and then once it stops hurting, it can be the best thing you’ve ever felt. But if you still don’t want to, we can stop.”

 

"...I'm not ready to stop,” Hinata said, and Kageyama felt Hinata’s cock twitch against him, proving it. "But I mean it, Kageyama, Daichi is gonna kill you if I can't practice tomorrow. Do it slow. And we stop if I say so-- don't think that just because you got me in your bed means you can do whatever you want." He turned his head away from Kageyama, glaring at the wall.

 

“I know that, idiot,” Kageyama snapped, rolling his eyes. “I’m not going to- god. Just tell me to stop or slow down or whatever! It’s not like you’re a fairy tale princess or something!” He glared down at Hinata, but he couldn’t keep up his angry facade for too long. He just shook his head, and sighed before kissing Hinata again. That was the best way to make him shut up.

 

"Stupid," Hinata mumbled as their tongues met, "Stupid, stupid..."

 

His hands moved down Hinata’s bare chest, skating over his ribs and over his abdominal muscles, over the patch of dried cum on his stomach, and down to his twitching cock again. He stroked it as it hardened fully, getting a good feel for the weight of it in his palm. Hinata had come too quickly before for him to get a good sense of it. It felt nice. His own cock was twitching with interest, but he ignored it, sitting back so he could adjust his position. He sat on his knees, then dragged Hinata’s thighs up and pulled him onto his lap. When he bent down to kiss him again, Hinata folded a little, his knees going up by his shoulders. It was a good excuse for Kageyama to grind his cock along the crack of Hinata’s ass. Hinata moaned, throwing his head back, and it took all of Kageyama’s willpower not to come. He wanted to be in him so badly, but that part at least would probably have to wait.

 

"Do that again." Hinata keened, hips twitching towards Kageyama’s dick.

 

Kageyama was momentarily stunned. That was the first time Hinata had really initiated a kiss, and his hands were hot and demanding on Kageyama’s face. It felt wonderful, and then Hinata was ordering him about, asking for more. He quirked an annoyed eyebrow at the bossy tone, but since his goals and Hinata’s goals were the same, he sat back and ground against Hinata’s ass, his cock dragging a little uncomfortably against Hinata’s dry skin. It still felt amazing, though, even with the discomfort: hot and delicious and so tantalizing. He couldn’t hold back a groan, and pressed a kiss to the inside of Hinata’s thigh, next to his knee.

 

“Don’t boss me around,” he said but there was no venom in it. His mouth found Hinata’s while he reached over with one hand and fumbled in his bedside table, pulling open the drawer to get out the half-used tube of lube. He couldn’t really believe Hinata was letting him touch him like this, and his hands started to shake from nervousness that he didn’t let show on his face. He had to make it good. He grabbed up the lube, uncapped it, and spread it over his fingers. His hand slid down to meet Hinata’s cock. His fingers moved over Hinata’s dick, over his balls, over his own dick, and down between Hinata’s asscheeks, leaving everything slick and hot. He ground against him again, his groan a little louder as the friction against his dick got more and more unbearable, helped along by the slickness of the lube.

 

"Don't boss _me_ around," Hinata retorted, but his voice was high and breathy and desperate and addictive, "Just because you're on top. I can do what I want, stupid Kageyama. And th-- that’s cold, what the hell?"

 

Hinata’s hips arched off the bed, though, and he let out a pleased moan. Kageyama grinned, and circled a hand around Hinata’s dick, stroking slowly as he kept grinding his own cock between Hinata’s cheeks.

 

"A-Are you gonna do it?" Hinata snipped, "Are you gonna finger me?"

 

“Dumbass! I’m trying to take my time! What happened to being all scared?” Kageyama said back, glowering down at Hinata.

 

It was hard to hold back when all he wanted was to feel the sweet warmth inside his spiker, but he was determined not to rush. His fingers moved down from Hinata’s dick and he backed off. His cock throbbed in protest at the sudden loss of friction, but he ignored it and stroked his fingers over the puckered muscle of Hinata’s ass, and he kept the teasing steady, using three of his fingers to slide around in a complicated pattern, never quite pressing into him. He waited for the muscle to relax, for Hinata’s body to open up to him. It was taking almost all his concentration. He still hadn’t gotten off, and it was distracting. It was fine, though.

 

When Hinata’s hole started twitching a little against his fingers, an unconscious effort to draw him inside, he hissed in satisfaction, and bent down, swallowing Hinata’s cock down his throat. It tasted a little gross from the lube he’d gotten on it, but that wasn’t an unfamiliar taste. As he swallowed Hinata down to the hilt, his tongue working along the base of his dick, he slipped the tip of his finger inside his ass, up to the first knuckle. His other fingers massaged around his hole, still teasing. It wouldn’t be deep enough to reach Hinata’s prostate, but he hoped the tease of the idea would be there, and that Hinata would let him keep going.  

 

Pale thighs tightened around Kageyama’s head. Hinata's narrow hips bucked and writhed as if he didn't what he wanted more-- Kageyama's hot mouth swallowing him down or his slick fingers working at his attended hole. "Too much, too much," Hinata babbled, though his words didn't sound distressed-- in fact, he was laughing; a flutter of doped sound that resounded between words, "It's too much."

 

Kageyama didn’t stop, though, and soon an uncertain, desperate hand reached out and fisted in his hair. Very gently, Hinata pushed his head down and bucked against him. Kageyama’s finger stilled

 

"You can move it," Hinata grunted. "It feels... Weird. But I like it. Wait-- Why did you stop, Kageyama? You're the one who said I wasn't a princess, stop treating me like one."

 

Kageyama’s mouth was too occupied to reply, but he reached up with his free hand to tweak Hinata’s nipple in retaliation, rolling the stiffened bud between his fingers. He didn’t like Hinata bossing him around like that. He wanted to dominate, to control, to shut Hinata up except for moans. But he also didn’t want to turn into a- a freak. He didn’t want to be like Oikawa. He wouldn’t move too quickly. He wouldn’t do anything beyond what Hinata was comfortable with. And Hinata was always trying to do things too quickly. That was helpful in volleyball. It had helped them evolve together, to become stronger. But off the court, it could be dangerous. He let go of Hinata’s nipple and reached down again, holding the base of his dick in place. He slid his mouth up in a slow glide, his mouth hovering over the tip, and flicked his tongue into the slit. He tasted the bitterness of precum. He really could make Hinata come twice. His own dick twitched at the thought.

 

He pulled off a little farther, just enough that he could talk. “You can fuck my mouth, if you want. Don’t worry, you won’t hurt me. And if you don’t want to be treated like a princess, then fine.”

 

He swallowed Hinata’s cock all the way back down, feeling the tip hit the back of his throat. He let his throat relax after the familiar panicked spasm, and his muscles responded like they’d been trained to. Hinata’s dick wasn’t as big as Oikawa’s either, so it was pretty easy to keep him there, nestled in his mouth. Hinata planted his small feet on the bed, thighs still encircling Kageyama as he worked, and curled his toes into the dark fabric until he felt his legs could support him enough to buck into the depths of Kageyama's mouth. Kageyama hummed vibrations against his slick cock and sucked him in deeper. Hinata was trying to help, his lower back arching, feet pressing into the comforter, stomach clenching to support his weight. When his nose hit Hinata’s skin, he slid his finger all the way inside and crooked it, searching for Hinata’s prostate. It didn’t take long to find, a slightly different texture inside him, and Kageyama started to stroke it rhythmically, relentlessly.

 

"Hahh, Kageyama!" Hinata shouted, then clapped his hands over his mouth “"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry-- that was loud. What did you just _do_ ? I didn't even know things this good were inside of me... How did you do that-- how did you find that? Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck."

 

And there it was, the cry that Kageyama hadn’t realized he’d been waiting for, loud and broken, and he almost came right then from Hinata clenching down around him, thrashing and moaning. He pulled off his dick long enough to glare.

 

“Quiet,” he said, and Hinata just moaned into his hands in reply.

 

He wondered if he could get Hinata to come just from the fingers inside him. It had taken him a few tries, when Oikawa had started refusing him the easy orgasm from hands on his cock, but when he’d finally come just from fingers inside him, from a cock inside him, it was the most wonderful sensation. He wanted Hinata to feel it too, but he wouldn’t leave him helpless and unsatisfied and desperate if he couldn’t. He wouldn’t be cruel like that. Oikawa had wanted Kageyama’s tears of pain and frustration. Kageyama only wanted Hinata’s tears if they were from being blissfully overwhelmed.

 

“Quiet,” he said again, and started to work another finger into Hinata, watching his face carefully for signs of discomfort. Whenever Hinata’s eyebrows twitched from pain, Kageyama would stop, rubbing inside him until Hinata’s breathing went ragged again, then would move his second finger forward, slowly, slowly, ignoring the throb of his own cock. He could easily imagine, now, what it would be like to have his cock inside Hinata, surrounded by that too-tight heat, to feel Hinata trembling all around him, and- god it was too much.

 

“Fuck,” he whispered, reverent, and his second finger slid in alongside the first, both fingertips working over Hinata’s prostate. “See,” His voice had dropped down an octave in his arousal. “See, Hinata, I told you I wouldn’t hurt you, I just want- _god_ I want to fuck you so bad. But not right now. Not tonight, but, fuck, you should see yourself.” Because Hinata was quite a sight, his chest glistening with sweat in the moonlight, his hair a tangled bird’s nest against Kageyama’s pillow, his eyes dark, almost all pupil. He was all of Kageyama’s worst fantasies at once. “I want to see if you can come just from my fingers. Or I can suck your cock again, it’s up to you. But I want you to ask.” His fingers moved inside him, stretching a little. Hinata was so tight that Kageyama wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to loosen him up enough to fuck him. But they had time. The rest of the night. The next day. The next week, month, as long as Hinata wanted him. Because he didn’t think he’d ever stop wanting Hinata.

  


Rolling whimpers pushed against Hinata's tightly clenched lips,  He bucked his hips, causing Kageyama’s fingers to brush over his prostate again. "Hahh! Kageyama, _oh god_ right there, that feels so... That feels... I-I don't know what you're doing but please don't stop. _Please please please_ ..." His lower back arched. “Mmm, both, both, _both_ \-- give me everything, Kageyama."

 

“That’s not really an option, dumbass,” Kageyama growled, glaring down at Hinata. “That’s not how it works. But fine, we can try just fingers next time. I’ll just go down on you again, if you can shut up. Put a pillow over your mouth or something.” It wasn’t the best option. He wouldn’t be able to hear any of Hinata’s glorious pleas or moans or whines, and that was possibly the most tragic thing Kageyama could imagine. He’d live for those noises, he could already tell. His parents were going to be gone for a few days that week, maybe later- There wasn’t time to think about it, not when Hinata was straining against him like that. He’d never realized how much willpower it would take to actually stretch Hinata out properly, when every part of his body and mind were screaming at him to bury his cock inside Hinata’s tight ass, to rut into him like a desperate wild animal. He wanted to. It was the same sort of want he felt when he was determined to win a match, when he wanted to set up a perfect quick. It felt necessary. But he couldn’t, not yet. Hinata was way too inexperienced.

 

He groaned in frustration, pressing a biting kiss into Hinata’s thigh, sucking a mark there just high enough that his shorts would cover it during practice. He lowered his mouth back onto Hinata’s cock, bobbing his head in a steady rhythm. His fingers moved again, and he started thrusting them into Hinata in time with his mouth. It was slower than he’d have gone if those fingers were his cock, and he made sure to brush Hinata’s prostate with each thrust. Hopefully it would leave him wanting, would give him a tantalizing taste of what Kageyama really wanted to do to him. He moved his fingers apart a little, too, trying to stretch him open. If he could fit in three fingers, that was almost as wide as his cock was, but he’d also promised not to hurt Hinata. He lost himself in the rhythm, his head stilling and allowing Hinata to buck into his mouth again. They were perfectly in sync, just like they were on the court. Kageyama had never felt like this with Oikawa, like he could read every move and every desire perfectly. He didn’t need to struggle to prove himself. Hinata took whatever he offered without restraint, too inexperienced to know how things should or shouldn’t be, and Kageyama in turn found Hinata’s enjoyment intoxicating.

 

"I-I'm gonna... I'm gonna _fuck_ your mouth, Kageyama." Hinata said suddenly, and Kageyama almost choked with laughter. The words sounded so ridiculous coming from Hinata’s mouth, so innocent. But he wanted it, so he just moaned around Hinata’s dick. "I want you to tell me if something hurts you, too." Hinata burrowed his fingers deeply into the sides of Kageyama's sweaty hair again, started to thrust a little, and Kageyama heard his head fall back against the mattress.

 

Kageyama almost snorted at the idea that Hinata could hurt him, but he did have a dick in his mouth and didn’t want to choke himself. Instead, he just relaxed his throat and let Hinata have full control over him. His spiker was being hesitant, though. Kageyama could tell that Hinata wanted to grab his head and force him down onto his cock, the fingers twisting and tugging in his hair were enough to tell him that. But he didn’t want to take his mouth off of Hinata, either, so he used his free hand to press Hinata’s fingers down into his hair, encouraging him to tug and direct Kageyama’s mouth. Hinata squeaked, but nails dug into his scalp, and Kageyama let Hinata direct his head. Kageyama’s fingers were working too, twisting and thrusting and stretching Hinata open, just like he would if he was actually going to fuck him.

 

Once Hinata had a firmer grip on his hair, he had to reach down and stroke his own cock, giving himself just enough relief from the aching need to be touched, then squeezing the base again to stave off his orgasm. The way Hinata had gone boneless and submissive, legs open and willing, was too much too, and he had to close his eyes. He groaned around Hinata’s dick, feeling the head hit the back of his throat. It was good, it was glorious, and Hinata was perfection.

 

 _Mine_ , he thought. _All fucking mine_. He’d never want anyone again, and he’d probably kill anyone who tried. Possessiveness like he hadn’t known before rose up in him. He wanted to be the only one who made Hinata feel like this. He’d do whatever he had to to make sure Hinata was his for as long as possible. When his fingers scissored Hinata’s tight hole wider, he slid his third finger in along with the others, distracting Hinata from the discomfort by swirling his tongue around the head of Hinata’s dick, lavishing attention all over to try and figure out what spots made Hinata twitch under him. When his third finger was in, he twisted all of them inside the smaller boy and curled them into his prostate again, rubbing for a moment before resuming the thrusting movement, in time with Hinata’s bucking up into his mouth. He wanted Hinata to come in his mouth, wanted to taste him, wanted to feel his dick pulsing on his tongue. He growled again, fingers working furiously inside him.

 

“Right there, right there, _right there_ ,” Hinata was moaning, the sound muffled by the pillow, and that was the only warning Kageyama got before Hinata was coming again, shooting down his throat. "Kageyama, I-I...I'msorryI'msorry... Kageyama, so _good_ I can't--" He shuddered, thighs shaking and spasming, and then finally fell still.

 

Hinata tossed the pillow aside and flung a hand to his mouth. He stared wide-eyed at Kageyama, face twisted in horror. His other hand still twisted into Kageyama’s messed hair and began to pet him apologetically. "K-Kageyama, I didn't know, oh fuck, it just happened."

 

Kageyama looked up from between Hinata’s thighs, grinning as he swallowed down Hinata’s cum. It didn’t taste good, or anything, but he didn’t mind the weird bitterness anymore, at least. He felt the same rush of victory from making him cum as when they won matches together, but it was muted, too. More personal. He rolled his eyes, slowly sliding his fingers out of Hinata’s ass while Hinata shuddered with aftershocks, limp and helpless under him. “It’s fine, you idiot,” he said, his voice thick with arousal. “If I hadn’t wanted you to come in my mouth, I’d have stopped.”

 

He slid up Hinata’s body, feeling a strange surge from being nearly fully clothed still while Hinata was naked. He didn’t want to think about Oikawa, but the thought of him kept slipping into his mind anyway. He’d fucked Kageyama like that plenty of times, with Kageyama fully exposed and open, while Oikawa hadn’t even bothered to take his shorts off all the way. But now he thought he understood it, with Hinata under him. He didn’t like understanding Oikawa’s motivation. It probably meant he was fucked up, too, just as badly as Oikawa was. Did he want to do the sorts of things to Hinata that Oikawa had done to him? As he stared down at Hinata’s sweaty, wrecked face, he thought that he probably did. He wanted him submissive and wanton and satisfied. Oikawa hadn’t wanted that from him, though. He’d wanted submission, sure, but he’d wanted to break Kageyama’s spirit, to twist him into some sort of fucked up toy. Kageyama didn’t want that from Hinata. He wanted to take care of him, to make him feel amazing, and to- He wasn’t sure. He’d been glowering down at Hinata while he thought, though, and it was probably doing nothing to help erase that frightened look from Hinata’s face. He tried to soften his features.

 

“You did good,” he said, resting his forehead against Hinata’s and tangling their sticky fingers together, “so good, Hinata, that was exactly what I wanted.” His bare dick had made contact with the soft flesh under Hinata’s hipbone, and the temptation to grind against him there was too much. “You look so good like this,” he growled, and bent his head to suck another mark onto Hinata’s neck. Hinata groaned. “I want to come on you, all over you, _god,_ Hinata, you have no idea.”

 

"Should I... Help? I-I don't know what to do, Kageyama. I don't know, I don't know--"

 

“No, no, it’s fine, it’s-”  His hips ground against Hinata’s, almost uncomfortable as his dick slid over the coarse fabric of his pants. He groaned and let go of one of Hinata’s hands so he could grab it. It only took a few strokes to bring himself to completion, and he sunk his teeth into Hinata’s skin as he came, shuddering, cum painting Hinata’s stomach white.

 

"Hahh! _Kageyama_ that hurts. O-Oww... Mmm..."

 

“Fuck, sorry,” he mumbled, licking over the mark he’d made. He hadn’t bitten too hard, at least, hopefully not enough to hurt too badly.

 

"I'm fine, I'm fine, _shit_ that hurts, umff..."

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Kageyama murmured against Hinata’s neck, riding out the last shocking waves of his orgasm. His legs and arms felt weak. It felt like he’d been holding off for forever, the anticipation an ache in his bones. The relief shocked him more than it should have, and then he remembered. He hadn’t come when Oikawa had fucked him the day before, too desperate to get out of away to pay any mind to the ache of arousal. And he hadn’t taken care of it, not until just now. And it felt better with Hinata than anything he’d ever felt, even though it was just his own hand on his dick. Just having Hinata in the same room, the smell of him, the taste of him, was more than enough. His whole body was trembling, exhausted from the intensity of it all, and he rolled half off of Hinata, not wanting to crush him entirely, but he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and pulled him close, hooking his legs over Hinata’s.

 

He pressed his mouth again against the mark he’d made, liking and kissing all around it in another wordless apology. “You’re fine,” he murmured, his words coming out breathy and satisfied, “you’re fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to- that was enough. Next time, you can- next time.” He didn’t know what he was saying, not really, more concerned with the smell of Hinata’s hair than the words coming out of his mouth. He was wrapped around Hinata like a koala, clinging to him, unwilling to let go. It would get uncomfortable in a moment, especially with Hinata bare and cum drying on his stomach, but he didn’t want to let go, not yet. He nuzzled his face into Hinata’s hair, humming low in his throat. Their fingers laced together again, and he squeezed Hinata’s hand, reassuring himself that it was all real. This was the sort of comfort he always craved, that he always wanted. He prayed that Hinata wouldn’t push him away, wouldn’t toss him aside now that they were both finished. They did need to sleep, at some point, but it could wait. He needed the relaxed comfort of Hinata against him, not desperate with arousal, just content.

 

Hinata ground his face into the fibers of Kageyama's shirt. "Kageyama," Hinata finally said but his voice sounded frail, "Was that ok? We just... I didn't even know we... We don't have to tell anyone, if you are embarrassed. We can pretend it didn't happen." He let out a shuddering breath, a sob.

 

“What- Hinata,” Kageyama said, instantly worried once he realized that Hinata was crying. He held him tighter, burying a hand in his hair, stroking gently. “Fuck, are you hurt? Did I-” And then he realized what Hinata was saying. “No, no no,” he said, tipping Hinata’s face up so he could meet his tear-glazed eyes in the darkness. “Shouyou,” he said. The name sounded strange on his tongue. He wasn’t used to it, but part of him thrilled at its use. He’d never let himself think about Hinata by his first name, worried that it would make him forget about the boundaries he needed to set up. But he’d smashed through them anyway, so it didn’t matter now. And surely Hinata wouldn’t mind. Other people called him by his first name, people that weren’t as close to him as Kageyama was, that didn’t care about him the way Kageyama did.

 

“Huh?” Hinata said, glancing up at him with confused, tear-blurred eyes. Kageyama felt his heart clench. He shouldn’t have- he should have explained from the beginning.

 

“Shouyou,” he said again, his voice softer than it usually was. He usually was yelling at Hinata, or insulting him, or fighting with him, anything to stop himself from blurting out how he felt. But it didn’t matter if Hinata knew now. “I’m not embarrassed,” he said, his face turning red in direct contradiction of his words. “Not about what we did. I, um.” He cleared his throat, stroking Hinata’s hair and rolling them over enough that he could brace himself up on his elbow and look down at Hinata’s face. “I like you,” he said. “I definitely don’t want to forget that this happened. Do you know how many times I’ve- how many times I’ve thought about this? I- I can’t-” he didn’t know what else to say, so he bent down and kissed Hinata again, praying that the smaller boy would allow it. His mouth probably tasted gross, so he kept it light, soft, and wiped away the tears that were lingering on Hinata’s eyelashes.

 

Hinata shivered. "You wanted me? All this time? Even when you'd cover your head when I served? Or yelled at me for fumbling a receive?" Hinata gazed up at him, his face a conflicting mix of hopeful uncertainty. "Why didn't you tell me? Why do you always have to act so mean to me instead?" Hinata paused, going cross-eyed momentarily as Kageyama bowed his head to peck him softly upon the lips. "I like this better than your angry face. I mean, I _like_ your angry face. But I like this one, too. More. I like all your faces."

 

Kageyama frowned down at his spiker, trying to figure out what he meant. He was too distracted by Hinata’s wide eyes to figure it out, though, so he just kissed him again, rolling completely onto Hinata and bracing himself up off of Hinata’s chest with his elbows. He could feel the sticky puddle of his drying cum seeping into his shirt from where he was pressed against Hinata’s stomach, but he didn’t pay it too much attention.

 

“Well, if you weren’t an idiot, I wouldn’t have to yell at you,” he said, glowering down at Hinata. “Not that-” he felt himself turning red. “Um.” The truth was, he usually yelled at Hinata because outright anger was easier than being nice, more familiar. Any compliment or word of encouragement always felt too intimate, and as much as he always wanted to tell Hinata that it didn’t matter, that he was doing great despite his inexperience, he always lost his nerve. He had no idea how to give praises. That part of him had been stomped out at a young age.

 

“Sorry,” he said instead. “I don’t- I don’t mean to get angry at you. I don’t want to- I just. I don’t know what else to say, usually.” Talking was too hard. He didn’t know how to tell Hinata how he felt, or why he felt how he felt. Why couldn’t Hinata just shut up and accept it? But those big brown eyes were gazing up at him, still bright from unshed tears, and he sighed. “I’ve liked you for a while,” he admitted. “But I didn’t know if you- if it mattered. The most important thing is being able to play together, and this-” he shifted his weight and stroked his hand down Hinata’s bare side. “-I’d never even thought- I’d only imagined, I didn’t think- You were-” he closed his eyes, his flush deepening. He was shit at this sort of thing. “Shouyou,” he murmured, relishing the familiarity this time. “I’d never be embarrassed about anything we did like this. If you don’t want to anymore, if you want to just play, then fine. I just. I still want you. I can- just don’t be an idiot when we play, okay? And it’ll be fine. I- I like all your faces, too. Especially, I like the face you make when you hit my tosses. I like the face you make when your serve goes over, and when we win, and when you yell at the tallest spiker on the other team.”

 

Hinata wiggled an arm free and pressed his fingers between Kageyama’s eyebrows, smoothing out the wrinkle that had formed between them. "I don't really hate it when you you yell at me. I just... I think I like this better? You're... Soft. I didn't think you'd be this nice to touch." His face turned red, but a smile spread across his face. "I don't really understand... Any of this. It's weird. I-I mean it's nice! It feels good. It feels _great_ , but it's just so much… I also... Really, really like it when you call me that."

 

Kageyama grinned. “Shouyou,” he said again, hope blooming in him. It wasn’t a confession, not really, but Hinata wasn’t pushing him away. That was enough for now.

 

Hinata flushed darker, then sat up a little, staring at him. "Where the heck did you learn stuff like this, Kageyama? I've only ever... Seen pictures and videos of people doing this _stuff_ before. It's a lot harder than I thought it was. But you make it look so…” he paused, hands flailing around as he tried to explain himself. "Easy?"

 

“There’s nothing to understand really, idiot,” he said fondly. “I like to touch you, and if you like it too, then there’s no problem. It’s normal.” He wasn’t sure how to answer Hinata’s last timid inquiry, so he tried to distract him, instead, stroking a hand through Hinata’s hair, over his neck, over his chest, feeling him and memorizing him. He whispered Hinata’s given name into his ear again, relishing the little shiver that went down Hinata’s spine. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, lips against Hinata’s ear again. “It’s not like it’s hard. It’s not volleyball. You’ll get it quickly too. I’m sorry if I went too fast, if we- if we did too much. I just-” he couldn’t help himself, that was what. Hinata had given without knowing, and Kageyama had just taken and taken from him, whatever was offered. He’d not really spared a thought for what Hinata would be thinking in the long term, and a little quavering, guilty sensation twisted at his stomach. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I never want to. You did so good, though, I want more. Will you- um. I don’t want you to do anything like this with anyone else.”

 

Hinata blinked at him, raising one eyebrow, then just sighed and nodded. “Why would I want to do this with anyone else? You're amazing. You're my partner." He rolled himself against Kageyama's chest and collapsed, draping a slender arm around his torso. "We're gonna get in so much trouble." He started plucking at the fabric of Kageyama’s shirt. "You know we are, even if you say it's fine. You know... you know why.”

 

“It’s fine,” Kageyama said again, pressing a kiss to Hinata’s jaw. “Daichi and Suga won’t care. I think they probably already know. And if they don’t care then no one else will either. It’s fine.” Hinata’s compliments had made him blush again, and he smiled against the back of Hinata’s head, and so did the knowledge that Hinata was really his, then. All his. All those noises, the whimpers and moans, they were only for him. It was more than he’d ever wanted. He wanted to just stay there, wrapped around Hinata forever. But Hinata was getting cold, he could feel the heat leaching out of his arms and could feel his skin starting to get bumpy. He was completely naked, after all, and Kageyama was being horribly inconsiderate.

 

“Stay here,” he said, and gingerly unwound himself from Hinata. His legs were stiff as he got out of the bed, a residual ache in his knees and hips and back that weren’t from anything Hinata had done. He glowered down at his legs and forced them to move. He crossed over to his dresser and pulled out a big shirt. It would be more than enough for Hinata to sleep in. He tossed it to the naked boy. “There, you can wear that.”

 

Hinata reached out and grabbed it, pulling it on without complaint. While Hinata was distracted, Kageyama quickly unbuttoned his own shirt, hoping the darkness and the distance was enough to hide the scratches and bruises that littered his torso, the fingermarks around his hips. He didn’t want Hinata to see any of it, but he wasn’t about to sleep in an uncomfortable, dressy shirt and jeans. He pulled on a big t-shirt instead, simple and black. It was long enough to come down to his thighs, and he stepped out of his jeans. He put some shorts on, too. He didn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night with his bare cock pressed up against Hinata’s bare ass, because that could only lead to a frustrated inability to sleep. When he was dressed again, he crawled back onto the bed and tugged the blankets up over himself and Hinata. His parents would probably wonder why he hadn’t gotten a futon out for Hinata, but he was too tired to pretend. He wanted to sleep with Hinata in his arms, he didn’t really care about the consequences.

 

"Kageyama," Hinata started, a hand moving to brush over the scrapes on Kageyama’s back.

 

He didn’t say anything else, though, not even when Kageyama froze. He probably hadn’t noticed. Kageyama relaxed again and hummed in response, Hinata’s exhaustion affecting him, too. It was warm, comfortable. Hinata was in his arms, like some kind of miracle. Red hair tickled his face, making him frown until Hinata scooted down a little, pressing his face into Kageyama’s chest, instead. Kageyama held him close, lying flat on his back with one arm looped around Hinata’s shoulders, hand buried in his hair. He sifted through the tangled strands, petting and stroking, and let his eyes fall closed.

 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said. He wasn’t really sure what he meant, there wasn’t anything specific. He was glad Oikawa hadn’t gotten to Hinata, he was glad that he hadn’t scared Hinata away, that he hadn’t hurt him or damaged him or anything. For all the shit that had happened to him, it was worth it. It didn’t matter, as long as he had Hinata now.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a larger au that's being written by us and imsosrsly. Poor Kageyama's been through some shit.
> 
> R&R! we love comments :D


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